On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, “What time is it?”
The tower responded, “Who is calling?”
The aircraft replied, “What difference does it make?”
The tower replied, “It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o’clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it’s Thursday afternoon.”
Someone asked the question “what would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?” to members of different branches of the military, and these are the responses he got.
Army said, “I’d step on it.”
The Marine said, “I would crush it with the heel of my boot.”
The Ranger said, “I’d smash its head, cut off its tail and eat it.”
Then Air Force said, “I would call room service, tell them to take it away, then ask why there is a tent in my hotel room.”